Hard Stuff

It has been a hard week. I have found that one of the biggest challenges of trying to walk the walk of being a Christian is owning a business and employing people. Finding the balance of showing grace yet holding people accountable, and just trying to be kind in the midst of all the pressure and stress takes its toll. There are a lot of times when I do not feel like I am being a very good rep for Christ. Since most of our employees are not Christians, it nmakes me feel bad to think they could use me as an example for why they don't like Christians. I know every day that we need God to show up in the midst of trying to do this, my strength is nowhere near adequate. It does not always feel like he does show up though, and quite often I go my own way and screw it up.



When my husband and I started this business we really wanted to help people who needed jobs. The thing is, sometimes people don't want to be helped and they can leave you feeling pretty used. Aside from that people are just plain messy. Sometimes it seems like our employees are especially so. When someone works for you you have no choice but to deal with their stuff. We would love to be able to just extend continual grace and let people take their time and work through things but we have a manufacturing company. If parts don't get out the door we don't get paid. There is a lot of pressure, and it is intense and incredibly precise work, when things don't go well it can be like a pressure cooker that needs to let off steam that has no release valve.


Sometimes as hard as we try to work through things we end up having to fire someone. It is really hard, and it leaves me feeling like we have failed this person. As much as we would like it too, things rarely seem to end well. It makes me sad. Someone who has been a part of our lives and who we really hoped would succeed is now gone and gone with everyone left feeling bad.


Being a boss really sucks sometimes.