It Might Be Hope

Note: All excerpts are from the Song It Might Be Hope by Sara Groves

You do your work the best that you can

you put one foot in front of the other

life comes in waves and makes it's demands

you hold on as well as your able

I find myself drifting into the realm of cynicism lately. I have never been a person to have great expectations, but I think somewhere in the back of my head I keep hoping I am wrong. That God will come along and just surprise me one day with something amazing. But even without having a high set of expectations for what life would be, I am feeling disappointed lately. Life is harder than I thought it would be. Way too much of our time is used up in the pursuit of just making a living, doing what we have to to put a roof over our head and food on the table, and it just keeps getting harder. It is sapping me of my optimism and my joy. I keep trying to fight through by focusing on the small stuff, the things I really love, but in truth I am not always winning the battle. I don't like this cynical self.

You've been here for a long long time

It feels like things have been like this forever, it hasn't but it has been quite a few years. I thought that at some point there would be a sea change, that the struggle would get easier, that life would get easier, that there would be rest.

It's hard to recall what blew out the flame

it's been dark since you can remember

you talk it all through to find it a name

as days go on by without number

I remember the days when I believed anything was possible, when I thought that my one life could make a difference and that I could do or be anything. Somewhere along the way life has sapped that from me and left me feeling like the best I can do is just keep moving forward getting through the days as best I can. It leaves a dull ache in my heart.

Hope has a way of turning it's face to you

just when you least expect it

you walk in a room

you look out a window

and something there leaves you breathless

you say to yourself

it's been a while since I felt this

but it feels like it might be hope

I have been battling this cynicism, this idea that negative is the norm. A few days ago, I walked out in the back yard to check on my little lemon tree because it is one of the things that makes me smile, and I got a pleasant surprise. One of the the trees we planted in the fall that I thought had died had a whole bunch of new leaves at the top. Somehow, in the rains we have had the past few days the tree had revived. More than anything recently this little tree began to grow a seed of hope in my heart. If that tree that has looked so dead all these months could come back to grow and sprout new leaves maybe there is hope for me, that in this heart the seeds of optimism lay dormant just waiting to be watered by a little encouragement or love or a moment of joy. I am not there yet, but it feels like it might be hope.

Lessons from Jojo

One of the most popular movies in theaters recently has been Marley and Me, a story about a husband and wife and their very bad dog Marley. It really is a story about life, and learning to love unconditionally. I have thought for a long time that dogs are much better at that than we are, but even with dogs I am learning that the words we use have much more power than we think.

We inherited a six year old Yorkie named Jojo about six months ago. He was raised by an elderly relative, just the two of them together. She was ill for the last couple of years that she had him. When the time came that she was too ill to care for him we said that we would take him. Truthfully, no one else wanted him. I think because it was the two of them they adapted to one another but not so well to others. So when we got him you might say that Jojo had some issues. Just for an example the first moment I met him he bit me.

Since we have had Jojo, the standard issue phrase that now leaves my mouth when people enter our front door is "watch your fingers". Jojo acts friendly, he comes up and paws at your leg, and he really is cute so naturally people reach dpwn to pet him. Then he bites your fingers. Sometimes he just spazzes out for no apparent reason like the Tasmanian Devil on those old cartoons.

I have never had a dog who behaved this way so I really did not know what to do. I tried yelling no, or bad dog, I tried soothing him to let him know everything is OK, I have even given him doggy time-outs. Some of these worked with varying degrees of success, but not consistently. Finally, with a certain amount of urging from my husband who said I had to "do something" about him we decided to sign up for doggy training classes. I decided on private lessons given his unpredicatble behavior with people and their fingers.

I took him to Petsmart because they are close to us, and I read the brochure and their method does not involve choke chains, which I don't like. The very first week I learned a lesson which I thoink is worth the entire investment. The instructor told me that whenever you are training your dog, you always have to use a positive tone of voice when you are asking them to do something, and they have to be rewarded when they do it. When you call them, and they come it always needs to be a positive experience. It only takes one time of you calling them and then getting yelled at for them to remember that, then they never want to come again.

It made me realize how powerful the words we say to one another are. We can truly speak blessings or curses over the ones we love. Do we affirm the good that we see in one another or are we like the dog owner who calls their dog then beats them?

I have learned a lot from our little Jojo already. I believe that inside this little guy who growls is a good dog dying to show himself. I am seeing more and more of him each day as I learn how to reward that part of him.