No particular reason at all.
This is a place for me to explore my own thoughts and document my journey. I don't intend to advertise it to anyone, so if you find it God bless you and welcome, I will assume you are meant to be here.
I have been reading a book recently called What I Believe, it is a collection of essays which were originally broadcast on NPR. It got me to thinking about what I believe, and I came to realize that there is very little I know for certain. I envy those who walk around in certainty, knowing what they think and what they know. I am not that. Most often I can see both sides of any issue, give me a debate topic and I could probably throw down a legitimate argument for either side. I am a doubter, a questioner, a seeker of truth who does not always know if she has found it or not.
I have found that my beliefs continue to change, sometimes over years, more often they change daily or even within a day. I used to be a dedicated Democrat, then I took a lean toward being a Republican, now I am neither. I cannot put my foot firmly in either camp, and I feel like it would get muddy anywhere I try to set it down.
At the same time, while internally I am constantly asking questions, I think on the outside people see me differently, like I know what I think and believe. I am sure I often state my opinions that way, I declare with more absoluteness in the moment of discussion than I feel in the later contemplation of it. I was told by someone once that "I thought I knew everything" it was the most stinging indictment I have ever felt because it was so inaccurate, but yet I knew somehow this was how I had come across to this person. So, I am seeking to be real with myself here, to write my unvarnished truth. To not try to convey myself in the most flattering light because I want people to think well of me. I want to find out what is really true for me as best as I can in the place that I am. As Donald Miller says, that is a hard thing to do because we are so full of crap. I hope to wash away the crap and see what is underneath.
